This morning as I was driving the daily school drop off routes, I began thinking about this blog. I don’t know why. I honestly haven’t looked at it in years. But I suddenly had this burning desire to look back on some of the things that I had written, some of the things we have done. Maybe I just wanted to make myself sad by seeing my kids so little. Or, maybe I was just looking for something to distract me from the things I should be doing. But, after twelve password guesses, giving up and resetting my password, and logging in, I went down the blogging rabbit hole.
That’s really what it is – a rabbit hole. The past sucks you in as you look back at super cute kids, marvel at how miniature your shrubs were on your once new house, laugh at some of the antics of a growing family. I just wanted more . . . . and more. . . . and more . . .
I realized as I was reading that I miss blogging. I miss having a platform to write down some of my thoughts. Sure, I have a journal, but I feel so much pressure when I journal. After all, future generations are going to read it and it needs to be UPLIFTING, and SPIRITUAL, and HELP THEM with their life problems. Me venting about drivers on the road or what I made for dinner are probably not any of those things – unless they are in a dinner slump.
I have so many thoughts that go through my head. I realized this morning that I WANTED to write some of them down. I often compose sentences in my head, but then never do anything with them. I love writing! It is something I have always said that I would do ‘one day’. You know, ‘one day’ when the kids are in school, ‘one day’ when I have time, ‘one day’ when no one is at home. And, I realized this morning that a lot of ‘one days’ have passed me by and I still don’t write. Maybe I need to stop focusing on ‘one day’ and just worry about ‘today’. That is not one of my talents! I am a planner! I am much better at planning for the ‘one days’ than I am at living today. Our Disneyworld trip in June is going to be off the chain – because it is ‘one day’! But, how am I living today?
So, this is my February 16th resolution. I’m going to write! I don’t know how often, and I don’t know how moving or deep it will be. (I had a whole conversation with myself this morning about the spider in the shower. When I killed it, were all the other spiders going to band together and come after me for ending the life of their friend???) But, I am going to write! I need to stop saying ‘one day’ and do something TODAY! 🙂