As we were driving down to Galveston last week for our fantastic family beach vacation, I saw an interesting billboard.  We were driving through one of the nicer suburbs of Houston, and there was a dentist advertising his business.   And, that’s all well and good.   What I found funny was his use of rhetoric.  Instead of just saying he’ll fix up your teeth, or make your smile beautiful, he chose the words “Purveyor of Fine Dentistry” to describe his practice.

Really?!?  Like someone is gonna see that sign and think, “Oooh, I wanna go to the ‘Purveyor of Fine Dentistry’!  That will make the whole dentist experience SO much less horrible.”?

Will it be so much less humiliating when spit is seeping out of my mouth as I sit for two minutes of torture with the fluoride tray in my mouth . . . if I go to the Purveyor of Fine Dentistry?

Will it be so much less painful when they jam those little pieces of flexible cardboard at odd angles so they can take an x-ray that requires them to GO TO ANOTHER ROOM to push the button . . . if I go to the Purveyor of Fine Dentistry?

Is it really much less embarrassing when I try to answer the dentist’s question about what I’m doing for Christmas around the fourteen instruments sticking out of my mouth and only manage “Eee’re oing oo om’s ouse an eeeeing inner” . . . if I go to the Purveyor of Fine Dentistry?

Are the miniature toilet bowls that we have to spit in any less disgusting . . . at the Purveyor of Fine Dentistry?

It just struck me that too often we try to inflate everything around us by using rhetoric.  We call ourselves “Domestic Goddesses” instead of the more mundane “Mom”.  We call the color on our wall “Summertime” when it’s really just tan.  What’s wrong with just being plain old Mom and painting our walls tan?  It may not seem as exciting, but in reality, the job is the same.

So, kudos to the Purveyor of Fine Dentistry for making me ponder.  I think I’ll stick with my boring old “dentist” though.  🙂

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