As I was putting laundry away in my closet today, I happened to look up and noticed ‘The Box’ sitting on my top shelf.
You know the box I’m talking about – it’s the same one that every woman in the world has. It’s the box of clothes that are too small, but we save because we’re sure they’re going to fit again someday. I suppose I was feeling optimistic or maybe just delusional, but I pulled down that box. After all, I’ve lost some weight. Why not see if my ‘skinny’ clothes’ fit? I held my breath (and maybe sucked in a little), and pulled on that first pair of jeans. I discovered two things:
1. MY SKINNY CLOTHES FIT! I didn’t think there was a prayer they actually would. I may have done a little victory dance as I was standing on my bathtub to see the whole picture. That realization was quickly followed by . . .
2. “Skinny clothes’ should come with an expiration date. Yes, I can fit in to them, but I can’t actually wear them in public unless I want someone to mock and point for rocking a pair of Mom jeans. Yep, all my clothes look like they belong 10 years ago – probably because that’s how old they are. And I’m talking jeans complete with high waists, pockets that fall somewhere around your hips – and tapered legs. Yeah, baby! At least if we have any 90s parties, I am good to go!
So, the moral of this story? Forget the box and just buy new stuff if you lose weight. Honey, have you seen my wallet??? 🙂